I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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