Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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