i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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