Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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