and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
