The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
