How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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