what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I love you. Go after that dick
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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