Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He felt like a one man threesome
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
