The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
