i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When did angry sex become our thing?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
