I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
