is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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