idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
