We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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