I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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