He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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