god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
