If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
