She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
