Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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