just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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