I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
