We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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