so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So apparently I’m into choking now
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
