New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
