One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
