remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
