I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
