smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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