you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Farmville is her only friend.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Randomize
