4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
