she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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