tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
