I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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