making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
