i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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