dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
