Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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