he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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