He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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