"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
