Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
