Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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