I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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