how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
