Banned from zoo.
Again?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
