that's an acceptable place to lick
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
