But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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