i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dear god my vagina.
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