I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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