Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
