So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
