Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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